Author Franky Ronaldy Author Franky Ronaldy Singapore
EXPECTATION!!! Are you wishing to have a beautiful wife? personal wealth? a big house? a sparkling career? So on so forth…. Awesome…. most of us hoping that everything are so beautiful or so nice or easy to have it or everything have been placed nicely for us.
Let us go back to our real world for now. What is the frequency we meet a genuinely a fully happy person? Most of us would tell it is a rare occasion. Most of people would experience kind of inner bitterness which is normal human condition. It is healthy to have hopes, dreams and goals and on the other hand, what we could do is continuously do our best. We operate our daily life through different ways. One of the most subjective such as joy, well-being, satisfaction, contentment, happiness, optimism and flow. This is about feeling good, rather than doing good or being a good person. As an individual person, we aim to identify the constituents of the ‘good life’ and the personal qualities that are necessary for being a ‘good person’, through human strengths and virtues, future mindedness, certain amount of love, courage, perseverance, forgiveness, originality, wisdom, interpersonal skills and giftedness. In the community would be on social responsibilities, nurturance, altruism, civility, tolerance, work ethics, positive institutions and reaching beyond oneself. Taking an actions or positive behaviours are something bigger than ourselves as an individual.
To the point, it is healthy to have hopes, dreams, and goals. On the other hand, all we can do is doing our best every day. By look at what we can add value to someone else’s life, and along the way we may discover that our expectations of ourself are sometimes unrealistic. Frequently when we see all around; we raise an expectations regarding ourselves and our behaviour, as well as those close to us, our personal material success, our careers, and other things. To a person with excessively high expectations it always seems that both their own inadequacies and their external environment are to blame for their unstable, deeply unhappy state of mind. They’re constantly irritated and upset because reality doesn’t conform to their wishes, and believe that they only way to be happy is to struggle against that reality to ensure they’re dreams come true. These raised expectations differ fundamentally from any rational, well-thought out plan to make improvements in their lives, since in essence these expectations are not grounded in reality; they’re simply impossible to achieve. When raised expectations and the attitudes, it will be accompanied by high levels of anxiety, irritability, and nervousness. Sometimes it always seems as though they’re worth more than they have, and they often fail to comprehend that the demands they make on themselves, in line with their wishes, are beyond that which they are capable of achieving.
For instance, they might have ambitions to obtain a job for which their qualifications, experience and knowledge, or even temperament are inadequate. They might dream of marrying the perfect man or woman of their fantasies, but who in reality they’re never going to meet, because he or she doesn’t exist. There is no limit to their ambitions.
The conflict between the real world and the one dreamed up in their fantasies, along with the impossibility of achieving the aims they set for themselves, lead to anxiety, disappointment and worry, thus creating a vicious circle. This state of mind emerges, ultimately, from feelings of inadequacy what is often called an inferiority. Such people strive for near-perfect things in the physical world to compensate for their inner sense of confusion and failure. We are only worthy of what we get in life. The harmony which might exist in our soul depends entirely on our perceptions. Either we demand too much from life, and end up unhappy with the fact it doesn’t conform to our expectations, or we accept life as it is. And always remember that everyone, not just ourselves, to a greater or lesser extent struggles with their own sense of inadequacy at some point in their life, quite simply because none of us are perfect, and we don’t get to see others vulnerabilities and deficiencies in the same we we are intimately familiar with our own.
The best out of all is we build an awareness that we have it, and in turn fully understanding just how much of a self-deceiving trap it is. If we spend all of our time thinking about how things could be so much better, then we’ll spend all our time in a state of mental anguish. We aware that there’s no limit to the idea of perfection, and therefore, equally, there’s no limit to how much we can torment ourself with raised expectations. The best investments we can ever make are those which we make within us. Only constant attempts to improve oneself above all, to work on one’s perceptions and reaction to events and the environment around them offer the chance to achieve happiness and sustain it